Notes 001

alrighty so I, like every other person who uses this site, am going to word dump at random now I guess.  

  

really trying to get a hold on how the heck to use dw because i think it is such a fun idea and i love reading about other people's lives from little snippets and being able to tag your own silly little thinkpieces and looking back on them years later.   

  

also i spend like... the whole day yesterday reading ppl's journals and it's so interesting. like normally when you get a glimpse-glimpse into someone's life from an outside perspective, it's like a celebrity w a curated image or some funky vlogger. like even if they're totally unknown there's always the possibility of being seen--- by your family, your friends. maybe i just wasn't on tumblr/had a blog in its popular eras. anyways. there's the comfort of knowing that 3.5 people know what dreamwidth is and they're all across the world having their own lives but maybe they're perceiving me. also it feels like i'm talking to somebody instead of just addressing my future self.  

also when dw posts have the cut? i have no idea what it is but it gives me the feeling of a little gift; like ooooh i get to read more? this is actually so silly of me idk idc.  

using dw is also v text-based-feeling and i guess i sort of need that. i don't let myself draw in my physical journal (except i rlly do usually be spiraling when i use it, so.) bc i just need to keep it separate, yknow? sketchbooks r for art and occasional notes, but writing is writing. maybe it's because i look back on my art and feel ashamed of it, and i don't want my thoughts to be tainted by that? 

( fic writing vs art; incomplete thoughts )

 

i started this entry somewhere near a week ago but then was so caught up w life (aka our school's yearbook submission deadline and then a 30 pg history project 😑) that i never finished and posted it so i am Doing It Now while i avoid doing any of my french hw

 

sorry this is extraordinarily wordy i love when i see ppl posted on dw and it's super long idk it just feels kinda like when u get an ao3 subscribed chapter update

 

our yearbook was finished 3 minutes before the deadline and i am so grateful to my friend and also our advisor for staying up so late checking alignments and typos and visibility 

also i am salty-not-salty about the other 3 editors not working on it that night (even though i get that they have lives. like you committed to this. it is literally our final day.) bc it p much meant that we 3 had full final say over stuff
madison u will never see this but i love you (platonic) and actually think you are so cool and not just like in a you're-my-friend-ofc-i-think-you're-cool but like bro u r so overpowered and i think nyu is rlly losing out and i hope we stay friends even when we're middle-aged

 

i have been so sleep deprived recently it is Very Bad

also i have practicing driving a lot a lot bc my dad is going to taiwan this week and cannot drive me places. proud of myself i guess. do need to get more sleep though so i will be a safer driver

 

 

random thoughts i have had over the last few days:

 

i actually can't believe i passed my math test,,, like a 62 is nowhere near great but i thought i got like a 13 so that's a relief,,, perhaps i shant fail calc,,,

 

someone recced a fic on the discord, i thought it looked interesting, read the whole thing thru, thought it was good and tried to kudos, and ao3 told me i had alr kudosed and bookmarked it

but i had no memory of reading it?? hsdlkfj my memory is failing me

i seriously read it like it was the first time,,, how